eat_the_orca

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 03:25:51 GMT

I can't sleep
i don't know how long it will be before I'm not afraid to have an energy drink again
counting sheep didn't work
the sheep only changed to thoughts of things worth laughing about but not mentioning
1408 sucked - but I almost shit myself the first hour or so
when I dance i fuck up my legs
Sexy Results (MSTRKRFT edition) is MY song - and it practically worked!
- and then I heard it playing on some stupid show my brother .lwsljhdiu fuck... was watching...stupid
sexy woman sneak into your bedroom
let me show you how I work work work work work work
let me show you how I work work work work work
Secret Mommy still hasn't came in the mail yet...maybe because it's being sent from canadia
I'm ready for another dance party (next week)
maybe if I attend a crazy dance party once a week I will get into shape eventually
drinking made me uglier but everyone else prettier - maybe i'm brokke
sexy woman sneak into your bedroom
let me show you how I work work work work work work
let me show you how I work work work work work
haha - holy shit
"have you ever broken a pinky swear?"
"no"
I've also never made one...
comfy
in
nautica
I wish panda bear (the music not that man) was a girl - she would be the most beautiful person to grace this earth...and i would bear her children
- have a little fun
dance music is fun - even if it's dirty
dirty is fun - even if it's dance music
- kiss me I'm drunk don't worry it's true
comeherebaby
iloveyourcompany
wecoulddoitandstartafamily
HOLYSHIT!
- dance
all i want to do
for the
rest of
my life - is dance
i started to cry during 1408
i started to cry at chick-fil-a
i started to cry when i spit a piece of ice into ja'mies frosty - haha
justice is amazing
justice scares me
- i think me a ____
what thinkk ye?
i don't want to work
i just want to make t-shirts for the rest of my life
- and dance
- naked
- to justice
- remixes
- of death from above
i'm so stupid
vegans are ...
- silly?
- stupid??
- assholes???
- bitch-ass whores???
will we ever know?
i love panda bear
i don't feel alive
"we already _______ in the _______ that we'll _______ we don't ________ anything in the _______"
i have boobs
i'm not going to lie i'm forcing a bit more rambaling out then I needed to
where is she?
do the DANCE!
under the spotlight
niether black nor white
in dosn't matter
do the dance
do the dance
as drunk as you like
working day and night
whatever happens
do the dance
the way you move is amazing me
do the dance
YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE FOR MUSIC AND ME

the way you move is amazing me...

Tue, 01 May 2007 03:59:50 GMT

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 20:44:21 GMT

i don't like music so much right now
flaming lips rockeddd
people should come out and say what they think, problems will grow not disappear
i want to hit someone, but im not sure if its on fact or a hunch
i think i hate myself
i think i hate someone
maybe i killed it
it sure did kill me

i don't need someone who cares to "help" me i need someone who cares

this past year was waisted
but by the looks of my life
i was right on track

false impressions bite the big one

i don't know if i'll call her or when
i don't know if i should
but i do know i don't care to
i feel like i should
but i'm still not sure it would matter
i have nothing to say that hasn't been said

if i could i would scramble my eyes like eggs
and fuck myself
metaphorically of course!

stinky fish

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 05:13:16 GMT

i just realized im a whore
and
my cd did get bent lol...the cd is fine but there is a crack in the plastic and there is a little dent in the cover
and
im going to finish this by saying "blah" ...because i dare not say what im actually thinking
i'd hate to admit it to myself

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 03:54:19 GMT

new song

incase there is anyone who cares whom i may have forgotten to tell

ps - don't take these too seriously its just what i do at 2 in the morning when im bored

http://www.myspace.com/dtoteh

5 at 3(30)

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 08:34:36 GMT

1. If Katy said "hi" to me a couple months before I really knew her, when her, sara, and a bunch of other kids i didn't know went to disney, then everything is stupid. I rememeber sara running up to me and giving me a huge hug...but don't reemeber katy. I didn't even rememeber I had actually met katy at twisty treats a few months earlier then that. I thought i met her at super cuts until she reminded me. She tells me she said hi and even may have given me a hug. I don't rememeber it at all and argue with her about it for a good little while. It makes sence. That I forgot, I mean. She didn't mean to me then when she would later mean, or what she means now. she was just someone i met. but it still shockes me that i could not rememeber in the slightest. Its funny looking backwards. It gives me a headache. I want to grab me by the neck and yell at myself. tell me to wake the fuck up and open my eyes.
2. Today was fun
3. i want a vinyl dance party for my birthday!
4. Nothing is confusing anymore. I am happy and excited to be alive
5. I ate pizza (WITH CHEESE) and I am fine...(as was I a few months ago when I had ice cream, granted both time i was in an amazing mood. I think i should start eating cheese and ice cream more)

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 03:55:07 GMT

http://www.myspace.com/dtotehr

feel free to laugh

mayspace is being gay so if the link says it was deleted or invalid just let me know and send me your myspace URL and i'll add you

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 14:43:59 GMT

randomly, as of this very second, I had a flashback from this one night I was working at MGM and the hot girl that worked at the bakery was talking to me and i swear to god really close to inviting me to a party (she brought it up, and the gesture was almost there and then...) she asked me how old I was. 18. She asked me in I was in school yet. I said no. She said I deff need to go to a real school and get the full experience (oh well!) and then that was like it. She left and we were both all like blah nice to meet you. So I wonder what age I should have said I was. In case anything like this shall ever happen again. because then I won't miss out. So what age could I possibly get away with?!? 21 ...20 (so I can't drink too much) 34 27 5

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 05:59:09 GMT

i had the scariest fucking dream last night...
i had to pee and I went into the bathroom to find that I had not one, but two penii
i was startled and tried my vary hardest to rememeber if I used to have two...and if two was the normal amount
-
i woke up
peed
and came to realize i only have one (yay) and rememebered one is in fact the normal amount

halloween was fun
hung out with sean and morgan, and then went with alex and evy to the johnson's party
tp'ed a house

now i have to get to work on my digital media and design turtorial
and my 6 page research paper on euthanasia!

ps - i'm trying to forget, just becuase i'm better now dosn't mean one comment won't bring it all back
its funny how for the longest time whenenever i'd try to get away from anyone and anything involved, i'd end up getting a reality check, and completely slaped in the face, sometimes by people who didn't know what the fuck was going on. Its just like i'm hanging out at a party, having fun, and then someone is like...hey, don't forget how fucked up everything is.

it used to give me headaches...some things just can't be fully comprehended. The problem was I was completely fooled, before I was completely fucked. I still am not sure what the purpose was of everything that happened. I've learned a bit, but really in the long run I feel like all I learned is that everyone is truely alone...life is about making the illusion that your not alone. Or maybe its just me. I tend to say everyone and everything when its just me. I used to say that everyone was changing. Only I was changing. No one else gave a fuck. At least no one that had any power of anything.

"that was so awkward, i wet my lip" - heros haha

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 05:32:37 GMT

i just realized i have a tendancy to make something in parethasis, and forget to close the parenthasis (oh no!

i had a rather bizzar dream last night. it makes no sence, at least not realisticly. I'd love to know what anyone might think it means, but it had to be something wierd that would just be like wtf
the last couple dreams I have had involve alex

there was the one where i was moving to LA and I was trying to tell him, but I didn't want to because I couldn't bear leaving
and then we can just say the dream last night involved him telling me he didn't like what I thought he liked. what i thought he was in it for. and now im confused because i'm awake. and the dream was very realistic (as it was happening) but very unrealistic, once in my waking life.

it reminds me of how i'll always see sertain people, or usually couples, as perfect, and then one of the two people will be like...no its like this and that and this. and even though they are overall happy, and they love that person, its not perfect like i had originally believed

is there such thing as a perfect couple
like a couple at least as perfect as they look

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 19:32:07 GMT

I drew this last spring break while I was on a Ski Trip (I was snowboarding)

what do you think it is

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 18:05:21 GMT

#20 (for real)

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:31:04 GMT

20. Me and My parents are talking and my brother is like Nicki said she saw you holding hands with a girl at publix. Nicki is apparently his ex girlfriend, how she know's who I am still freaks me the fuck out. So my mom bombards me with questions. And I'm just like...I don't haev girlfrind, and she wouldn't let it go...I don't know why I should If shes gonna give me that much shit at the suspicion of it. anywho, what bothers me is that I worked really hard my entire high school career to avoid as much drama and gossip as possible...I think I did a pretty decent job, minus the last couple months (sorry the one thing I decided to care about was the one thing worth trading me for). Its nice to know that after all that hard work, I now have middle schoolers talking about me...It still really creeps me out that she knows who I am...

Random Thoughts At 2AM

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:20:47 GMT

1. Deerhoof is awesome (I want Apple O' on vinyl...)
2. Some random employee was hitting on me today. Creepy. I love how Disney gives me a wide range of attention, there are the people who think I'm a girl (see costume [I hope] for more info), the people that ... you know what I can't think of anything else, except every once in a while I get a little attention. Once I was just talking to an employee, and she was all wierd, like she was nice and all, it was just like she wanted me to leave, but I've never had that problem with any other employees. I think park guests seem fake, and I assume really pretty girls are complete bitches and/or spoiled so I usually just ignore them (that might explain why such occurances as the one today seemed bizzar. I just think its funny because to me it makes life feel like a game, and as glad as I am that some people have figured out how they like to play, I am also very happy that I have found mine. I am one picky bitch, but I also know I have no right to be picky, so I just sit here. If I get lucky, awesome, If not, oh well.
3. My tummy is acting up...I didn't have any cheese. I keeps making wierd noises and its scaring me. I know I'm going to have a lot to look forward to when I wake up.
4. I'm getting used to the idea of being single my whole life, and the only part of that that bothers me much, is that it dosn't bother me much
5. Not that I'm saying I want to be sigle, just that I could live that way and still be happy
6. I think I realized my problem (or at least one of the bigger ones) is that I take way too long to fall for anyone, and ten times longer to fall out...I feel like I need to loosen up, and stop treating life like a movie. I keep waiting for the perfect moment, and I realize there is a risk involved in that...It may never come
7. While watching your average late night tv, I realized the kid who had been having sexual relations with the girl he loved almost every day for the past few months (at the time) left her for someone he wouldn't get any from. That scares me. When these things happen I just see everyones feelings and emotions as fake. How am I supposed to know how he felt. maybe he really saw something worth while in her. Maybe he thought he would get something. anything. Maybe it was worth seeing if he was exactly where he wanted to be, Maybe my head should blow up and I should fuck myself to save myself.
8. I hope I'm not scared to live my life
9. I am finally happy, and I no longer care (as much as I did, but I would still kick someone's ass if they needed it)
10. I'm getting into...art? I'm painting and shit
11. When I grow up I want to live in a big empty house with little more than my stereo, my turntable, a projector (to watch some movies, and concert video's while I work), A million art supplies, A drum set and keyboard, My mac, A fridge, a bed, naked people
12. where have all the cute girls gone, are they hideing or am I?
13. I am very pickey, and the two highest requirements usually contradict each other, It didn't work with the only person I can think of that fit under both. The person she choose didn't exactly work either
14. I can't seem to say what I feel/mean...this is why I have countless times decided what I think/feel should stay inside and never leave
15. I saw a fat guy with a hot girlfriend today...I still have a headache, perplexing...and anyone who thinks "he must have had personality" is stupid...if anyone did it was probably her. I tried for a while to not be fat and to have a personality and it never helped me, did I ever actually change, or did I just change the way people saw me? or did I just change the way I saw myself...I'm still the same fat, annoying, loner, child on the inside
16. eat me!
17. was it real, or was in impulsive. and am I stupid, and always a second too late, or am I really not worth the time
18. I'm glad you were bored enough at the time to hang out with me more. I actually thought you liked me (even if just as a friend) oh well
19. I hope the next time I fall, I fall for someone that falls for me, and I hope I fall fast enough to save myself. or I hope I never fall and just find happyness in art and self expression, music, and...drungs? haha
20. I need a twentieth random thought cuz 19 looks stupid

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 05:15:05 GMT

Dude...I'm watching saw and I forgot how scary that part where he takes the camera and uses the flash to see whats in the closet is...(can you say run on?) yeah and he finds the pig thigy and it attacks him...ahhhh

yup...just felt the need to tell all of you this
+ um today was a good day...no reason

Hmf?

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 09:18:27 GMT

Tonight we had a critique in my art class.
during this everyone puts thier drawing up on the board so we can dicuss and compare them all at the same time, and anonymously.
At one point he spent a while showing the difference between mine and one someone else did that was almost exactly the same (in structure)
He first made the point that mine was expressed isolation better, and then trashed mine because "It's not as detailed, and you need to use more than just a #2 pencil"
As usual I'm laughing because the class is to an extent rediculous and our instructor is a tad bit crazy
I begin to laugh even harder as he starts saying all this stuff about my painting
I was just like...no its no where near as detailed as her's (she's amazing seriously), but I never used a #2 pencil...I used a HB and H6
He was all like...they could have used shading
and I was just thinking...what are those swooshy lines rght thur?
I end up being completely overtaken and can't hold my laughter
I end up laughing so hard, I begin to cry
for a split second I almost felt the quick transition from laugh to cry

The last time i cried i had been laughing
a nervouse laugh
and just as i let in more air, I began crying hysterically

It kinda scared me...I wonder if I'm smothering my feelings under my laughter
and is it just me or are crying and laughing like so close to each other its hard to tell sometimes which is which...(lol)
If I'm smothering my feelings because he was trashing my "art" thats cool, cuz i really don't need to break down in art class
I don't know...usually it really dosn't bother me that much
why should it matter to me?
i need the grade, but otherwise, I'm not an artist, I don't draw

honestly I think it was just halariouse because it was so rediculouse (what my teacher was saying, that is)
but I just found it wierd then that for a second i was afraid it might jump over

and then some people brought up the shitty pic i drew of a pizza to express unity through geometric shapes...lol
the teacher wouldn't say anything about it during critique
he just laughed and passed it
then he put it up on the wall, with the other good pieces, to say it was done well and completed the assignment
wtf?
lol don't make me think it sucks and then put it on the fucking wall of fame
I'm curiouse to see what I'm going to get for this one...

OMG im back!

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 04:48:27 GMT

So for a little while I freaked out. I saw science of sleep and some other stuff happened that wasn't supposed to (I wasn't supposed to se Scienec of Sleep, because I just woke up and decided I invested too much expectations into something that sould never reach anything that high, and i'm not just talking about the movie. I was falling apart. not sure what the fuck was going on. i went to the cemetary after the movie and walked around for a while...something was on my mind, and bothering me terribly. I called a few people, but no one answered. Then I called the one person I was avoiding. The person I was avoiding to start over. I called and I rambled and rambled...made a few metaphors that made sence (for once!) and was able to (also for the first time) recover and start to just talk about what i'd missed out on over the past 3 weeks. Everything makes a lot more sence. Not because anything was explained. At least not to much. But I feel something. And I for once am completely certain that i'm done and its over. I feel amazing. its like i just dropped this weight i chose to carry for so long that i couldn't just drop when i was suddenly ready. I feel free. I feel like nothing ever happened. and i look back and think, what i bitch i was. i should have let go a long time ago. but none of that matters any more. i've let go now. for 6 months i had this constant unsettling feeling in my stomach, but now i feel new and ready to start clean. i'm ready to move on and i have enough so that i don't have to leave my friend behind. i don't expect us to ever be great friends. but i don't expect us to completely fade away for a while. and im ok with that. and if we do but were both better off im ok with that too. i felt good fetting some stuff off my chest. and i now regret saying a couple things lol, but every peice has fallen into place. life dosn't always go according to plan...but its beautiful to realize that i still have a lot more lufe to live, and all i had to do was drop it. and now i feel like it was all made up. a bad story. a sick joke. a dead joke.

i'm back and ready to fuck it up in the good way lol

ps kant wait for band marino and tilly

pps polyphnic spree is amazing...the cd is 10 tracks and the 10th is 36.30
i was hopeing in would be some amazing epic song...it was just noise....kinda cool...sorta ambient noise...fuckin random...but interesting

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 07:25:06 GMT

A couple nights ago I had a dream that I was movieing to California. It was really wierd and kind of scary. The dream was mostly set in my house, except it wasn't my house. It was bigger and scarier. Like a dark mansion or something. My dad randomly pulls a gun out and (after scaring the hell out of me) shoots a window in the front of the house. From what I rememeber we were (or at least my parents were) planing some kind of insurance scam. Don't ask, I have no idea other than maybe they were trying to make it look like a break in. Then everyone just hung out and acted like nthing had happened. We didn't call the cops or mess up the house or anything. After a while I noticed a van (kinda like uncle reco's from Napoleon Dynomite) pull into the drive way. I told everyone and my dad just said it was my grandparents. All I can remember other than that is seeing my grandmother through a window (or maybe one of those window like thingies some people have in thier kitchens and stuff). She definately wasn't my grandmother, but she definately was. I knew she was, but she just looked like a steriotypical old person. The rest was pretty scattered. I called my friend and told him I was moving. I had known for a week or so it might happened, but never said anything because I hoped it wouldn't. Now we had a week before I was going to be gone forever. I actually wonder now if I actually told him over the phone or if it was an answering machine. I actually am pretty sure I got the answering machine. I told him I was moving in this extremely annoying high pitched voice, because I was trying to keep from crying. it didn't work. I'm such a bitch. + sorry to anyone who has ever actually heard that high pitched voice...I believe there are only a couple of you. It's wierd because a few things that related to real life in the dream is that I actually did almost move to California (years and years ago) and I am also quite used to that answering machine. I thought for a while teh dream may have been based in the past, but I rememeber spacifically worrying about leaving in the middle of the semester at Valencia.

Not sure what exactly the dream means. Its morth working on it, or its maybe just letting me know it does really matter to me, or maybe it was so i'd know who I picked in the end. Who I called first. Who I felt the closest to

I do feel somewhat close to some people, but not that close. I mean I'd be there for them no matter what they needed, and I'd back them up whever they needed it, but I guess I just perpously don't let anything root itself too deeply into me.

I don't expect everyone to always be there like I used to. I realize thats how life works. Some of the people I thought meant the most to me are for the most part gone now, and thats just how things are. I decided I wanted them to be close to me, and thats why they were. Nothing essentially made them close to me. For a few, I'm not really too sure how much they do/did care. It'd be nice to think something in life was constant. the sun goes up in the morning and goes down at night...is probably the best I can say for sure. I apreciate everything I have though. I just won't be shocked when its gone.

i think I cry in my sleep sometimes. The day I woke up from this dream wasn't the first time I'd woken up with gunck under my eyes.

Music is constant. bands arn't always constant, but their songs and albums are. I think thats a good majority of the reason why I love music so much.

Whenever I see true happiness in front of me (other than then its there to laugh at me) I get this feeling that its so easy and so close. I just can't seem to find what I need. Its like there's this one step and then its easy crusin for a while. What is that step? I have no idea. Make myself get out there. I'm having fun though.

Hopefully I'm still seeing science of sleep this weekend.
If I'm not I'd like to go with anyone willing to go again (or see it for the first time, its just been made pretty apparent that EVERYONE has seen this movie before me ; ( ...except of coarse the person I'm seeing it with.

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 02:22:16 GMT

today was pretty awesome. Went to Park Ave. and got The Summerbirds in the Cellar LP and Sons and Daughters Dance Me In Single...which features Drunk Medicine..i hope thats a different version of medicine...just because that would be pretty cool

nice asian guy that works at the gas station next to park ave. is super nice. I'm like I've got four donoughts, and he says "you have four, I'll charge two"

I feel like I had something else to say. cant rememeber. too bad HHN isnt on for tommorow, but at least were still hanging out. lasre tag maybe lol

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 02:55:46 GMT

So I'm watching tv and a preview of the news come on. Some guy was arrested fo robbing several banks. An interviewer asked him as he was being arrested "why'd you rob banks" to witch he replied "Your mom costs a lot of money"

Unicorns

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 05:58:07 GMT

Apparently Unicorns have a Secret Forum...they have like 100000 live shows up for downloading

islands and corn gangg too!

ive already uploaded like 9

fuckin awesome...some new tracks and nice live versions

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 03:59:28 GMT

disney was fun today. i don't really have anything else to say...i just wanted to make sure everyone knew...it was a pretty good day

"I Am Happy (You Beast)"

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 05:24:43 GMT

so...starting over worked for a week or two
tonight i decided i give up. on everything. on everyone
it dosn't make sence to start over if you leave reminders of the problems you left behind
"You May Be Through With The Past, But The Past Ain't Through With You"

I decided I need to emancipate(?) myself
from...a lot of people
not because of anything they have done
its just me

i changed my mind
i'll give tommorow a go
then i'll decide

fuck you
fuck whoever makes this shit happen
and stradaling(?) me when i'm feeling down only makes things worse
thats the first thing you did when i closed my eyes and wished i would wake up

no way to wake up from life
die maybe
but who needs to wake up?
i just need to get the fuck over it
i wish i was stronger

wishing...

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 06:56:01 GMT

alue="http://www.youtube.com/v/DrW9DscjZO4"></param>

it'd be pretty cool if i had friends like these kids

good day

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 02:38:00 GMT

Today before school I went to Park Ave. to get Death From Above 1979s Heads Up EP on vinyl...finally got home and got the chance to listen to it. Its fuckin awesome. It also helps even out my vinyl collection...now i've got some angry music. I'm also pretty sure its avaliable only on vinyl and it was a minimum release (i don't know how mnimum, but its not on iTunes thats for sure) Its awesome that for the first time ...wait second...i have something on vinyl thats vinyl only. i forgot frog eyes the ox who drank his blood was only onn vinyl...but thats just a single...anywho thats awesome...oh and heres the list again because I love it soooo much : )

Vinyl:

ALBUMS:
Beach Boys - Endless Summer
ELO - Out Of The Blue
Death From Above 1979 - Heads Up
Decemberists - Picaresque
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
The Postal Service - Give Up
The Unicorns - Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?

SINGLES:
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth
Frog Eyes - Emboldened Navigator
Frog Eyes - The Ox Who Drank His Blood
Yip Yip - Munch Much Mush?

Oh and I got home to find that my adobe creative suite 2 came in the mail! im so excited. I'm going to instal it right awayyyyy